I’m turning twenty-five soon and I’m not very excited about it. You would think the Quarter-life Lady would be ecstatic about officially reaching the quarter-life. I wasn’t sure exactly why I’m not, but it hit me today.
I’m irritated I’m turning twenty-five because my life looks nothing like how I thought it would by now.
There, I said it.
I could maybe throw a temper tantrum and isolate myself from others as I wallow in my own self-pity. I mean, I really am irritated. My left ring finger is bare, I have birthed no biracial babies, and there are certainly no white picket fences surrounding my apartment building. And while I know there is more to life than marriage and babies, that’s kinda hard to remember after you’ve spent a significant amount of time with a man you thought you might marry and make biracial babies with. So as I sit here, trying to forget things I had imagined for my life for quite some time, irritation is all I feel.
And although these thoughts rarely leave my brain, I am still expected to kick off my twenty-fifth year of life in a celebratory manner. I feel up to the challenge. I am the Quarter-life Lady, you know. I attempt to do all things with class and just the mere thought of encouragement makes my heart flutter. If my blog could make only one thing clear, it’d be this: negativity and QLL are like oil and water.
So where do I go from here?
—To Boston, Vegas, and possibly LA with a college friend, because I don’t need to be on my honeymoon to travel.
—To Aldo, because although First Love* couldn’t afford to buy me a diamond, I can certainly afford to buy myself a nice pair of shoes
—To an appointment with an amazing photographer, because the fact that I won’t need engagement photos for awhile shouldn’t stop me getting my picture taken
—To grad school, because I won’t have any biracial babies crying while I’m trying to study
—To church, because I don’t need to exchange vows in order to feel drawn there
—To wherever I damn well please, because for the first time in almost four years, I answer to no one but myself and the good Lord
I’m attempting to envision a new life for myself. It hurts at times, but sometimes it’s fun. And goodness gracious, I have quite the imagination. Who knew?
*formerly known as “Boyfriend.” Whether he ever becomes Boyfriend again or not, he’ll always be my first love. Hence, his new name.
Kendall
January 7th, 2010 at 4:55 AM
I turn 22 in 3 weeks and I’ll be the first to admit that my life is almost nothing like I imagined it would be when I was 18.
I get where you’re coming from though. This past summer was probably the most amazing of my life because I didn’t let being single stop me from doing what I wanted.
Really really hope I get to meet you in Vegas.
stefanie Moser
January 7th, 2010 at 7:58 AM
Girlfriend, I so hear you. Turning 25 was rough for me, but it gets better, and not to mention we’re gonna kick your 25 off with a bang and have some fun!! Happy early birthday. It is going to be a good year. Love you!
victoria
January 7th, 2010 at 9:26 AM
Its a turning point for us babe…. and not everyone has babys n hubbys by 25 these days. unless by accident.alota women focus on career n having fun in life b4 settleing down. i have to start all over so im with on that crap lol. we all do things @ our own place. look@ 25 as an achievemnt u got a degree,great job,even greater friends
Andrea
January 7th, 2010 at 9:52 AM
Oh, do I understand this. The biggest obstacle for me is not comparing myself to other people my age. I see someone else who is successful and I beat myself up over not making it to that point. I know I shouldn’t (and I’m trying to curb it), but it’s really hard.
Allison Blass
January 7th, 2010 at 3:52 PM
My parents met when they were 29. So you have time. I didn’t think I would be where I am six months out from turning 25 either! But I think that’s how it is with everyone, and I think you goals to not let being single keep you away from travel, church and nice things is a great idea!
Men are nice, but we sure don’t NEED them to be happy!
MinD
January 7th, 2010 at 6:11 PM
I find it absolutely amazing that you can explain how you’re feeling a little down, and then in a moment, pick yourself back up again for everyone to see. Seriously girl, more strength in you than I think I’ve ever seen before.
Julianne
January 7th, 2010 at 6:51 PM
I turn 28 next week and am no where near where I imagined I’d be at 28. But, life doesn’t always go according to some crazy plan I imagined when I was 13 and that’s ok. I love your positivity!
Singlutionary
January 7th, 2010 at 10:46 PM
I LOVE your ideas for what to do next!!!!! LOVE ‘em!!!! Thank you for this inspiring list.
Jessica
January 7th, 2010 at 11:05 PM
Good for you. I love your list of things you’re doing now, especially getting your photo taken by a photographer. When I was 25, I was at my lowest point emotionally and life was definitely not what I thought it would be. And it’s not at 30 now either, but I’m content.
Laura
January 8th, 2010 at 11:52 PM
i’m turning 32 on jan. 28, and i’m not at all where i thought i’d be by this point. i’m not married, i don’t have babies, i don’t own real estate, and i make very tiny bits of money. but i’m happy. i’ve learned a heck of a lot about myself in the last, say, 10 years. my twenties were tumultuous, to say the least, and i was especially miserable in my mid-twenties.
but this amazing thing happens as days turn into weeks, months, and years. you grow. by the grace of god, you grow. and you change. and opportunities present themselves, ones you never expected. and people come and go and come again. and your heart explodes, mends, cries out.
i think your ideas for what to do next are brilliant. keep your heart open, continue to ask god to be next to you (he always is, even when we don’t ask), and extend your heart and hands to others.
i have no doubt that you’ll be blessed.
thinking of you…
with love from pittsburgh,
laura
Elle
January 9th, 2010 at 12:32 PM
25 – Oh, how I’ve struggled with this. My 25th birthday consisted of me seriously pondering my accomplishments and short-comings, and comparing my life now to my mother’s when she was 25. But then it hit me. I’ve lived 25 years and it’s something to be thankful for. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we planned, but often it’s for the best. I’m so glad you’re seeing this
.
Julie @ Wearing Mascara
January 9th, 2010 at 6:12 PM
I love this post! So real and honest. I think that unexpectedness is what’s so great about life though. You’re not where you thought you would be, but you are SO MANY amazing things! That’s definitely something to celebrate. So is your birthday
We need to celebrate!!!!!
Stephanie
January 9th, 2010 at 6:43 PM
Thanks for the congrats, doll!
I feel ya on the turning 25 thing. I had a sort-of hard time with it as well. For almost the same reasonings… I just wasn’t where I thought I’d be. So I threw myself a great big party, eventually quit my job, and now I am on MY path… and it feels great!
So- who knows where 25 will take you! Wherever it is- it will be great!
E.P.
January 10th, 2010 at 12:08 AM
I turned 25 in September, and it freaked me out to think about where I thought I would be in life at this point. I was totally wrong. It’s scary, sure, but it really is exciting, and you figure it out.
I have a feeling that with all these things in front of you, 25 will be a good year!
Ebony_Jewel
January 10th, 2010 at 7:53 PM
You know….it hit me at 24 that I was not going to live the “life” that I thought I would – the whole get married, have babies, white picket fence. I knew that was out of the window when the ass & I broke up. I have not looked back since then; I’m happy that I moved on. I’m happy I did not make the mistake of getting married & having kids because the divorce rate in the US is 50%. A whopping 50% and 10 of my 12 friends who got married under 25 are now divorced with at least 2 kids. Looking back at 24 – I’m happy my 25 & 26 took a turn for the better. I’m a stronger, happier, more successful person than I was at 24 years old. I’m figuring out who I am & solidifying my future. That way when I find someone who is worth my time & effort, I’ll know what I’m willing to put up with and what I’m willing to walk away from!
Don’t be down girl, be proud of yourself! Your life is changing right before your eyes, be excited for your new journey – it’ll be fun, a great learning experience, and when the time is right you’ll settle down to your white picket fence & biracial babies! LOL
AZach23
January 12th, 2010 at 12:08 PM
OH honey! I flipped out when I turned 25, but someone told me on that bday “Life starts after 25″ I kinda blew the ole man off but he was right. I wouldn’t trade my life at 28 for my life at 24 for all the money in the world. I got over the “schedule” I was thinking I should be on and just started living the life I have. I do what I want and when I want because I can. It’s so freeing and just great in general. I feel like I am closer to figuring out who I am and what i want to be. I don’t know if you ever really figure that out but I feel like at 28 that i am on the right track. Happy 25!!!!
That Kind of Girl
January 13th, 2010 at 2:02 PM
I love this post! Heck no, you don’t need a ring around your finger to do nice things for yourself! Heck, you should take advantage of your quarter-century to register at all those amazing, ridiculous stores that are usually reserved for wedding gifts. Williams-Sonoma, anyone?!
Also, I found your blog through 20sb and think this might be the beginning of a beautiful blogcrush. You are so on my googs reader now!
chinkygirlmel
January 16th, 2010 at 10:07 PM
I must admit, I feel the same way. Life didn’t exactly turn out the way I planned it or pictured it 10 years ago. But then again, that’s how life is, things don’t always go as planned, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we will never get to where we planned. We just need to take it one day at a time. Small steps to get to big places. =) advance happy birthday sweetie!
I Can Cry If I Want To - Quarter-life Lady
January 16th, 2010 at 10:39 PM
[...] cry I did. As I predicted, my twenty-fifth birthday was a difficult one. I spent a significant part of the day crying. I [...]