I’m turning twenty-five soon and I’m not very excited about it.  You would think the Quarter-life Lady would be ecstatic about officially reaching the quarter-life.  I wasn’t sure exactly why I’m not, but it hit me today.

I’m irritated I’m turning twenty-five because my life looks nothing like how I thought it would by now.

There, I said it.

I could maybe throw a temper tantrum and isolate myself from others as I wallow in my own self-pity.  I mean, I really am irritated.  My left ring finger is bare, I have birthed no biracial babies, and there are certainly no white picket fences surrounding my apartment building.  And while I know there is more to life than marriage and babies, that’s kinda hard to remember after you’ve spent a significant amount of time with a man you thought you might marry and make biracial babies with.  So as I sit here, trying to forget things I had imagined for my life for quite some time, irritation is all I feel.

And although these thoughts rarely leave my brain, I am still expected to kick off my twenty-fifth year of life in a celebratory manner.  I feel up to the challenge.  I am the Quarter-life Lady, you know.  I attempt to do all things with class and just the mere thought of encouragement makes my heart flutter.  If my blog could make only one thing clear, it’d be this: negativity and QLL are like oil and water.

So where do I go from here?

—To Boston, Vegas, and possibly LA with a college friend, because I don’t need to be on my honeymoon to travel.

—To Aldo, because although First Love* couldn’t afford to buy me a diamond, I can certainly afford to buy myself a nice pair of shoes

—To an appointment with an amazing photographer, because the fact that I won’t need engagement photos for awhile shouldn’t stop me getting my picture taken

—To grad school, because I won’t have any biracial babies crying while I’m trying to study

—To church, because I don’t need to exchange vows in order to feel drawn there

—To wherever I damn well please, because for the first time in almost four years, I answer to no one but myself and the good Lord

I’m attempting to envision a new life for myself.  It hurts at times, but sometimes it’s fun.  And goodness gracious, I have quite the imagination.  Who knew?

*formerly known as “Boyfriend.” Whether he ever becomes Boyfriend again or not, he’ll always be my first love.  Hence, his new name.

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