I’ve somehow convinced myself that I’m over you. I may not be completely over our relationship or having you around to keep me company, but I’m over you. I’m over the ways you hurt me and the lies you told. I’m over the person you became (or perhaps always were). I’m over you because the last few months of our relationship numbed me and prepared me for this pain.
It’s true. Were you to magically appear in my apartment, proclaim your love for me, and present me with the hugest rock known to man (think Taylor Swift’s “Love Story”), I still wouldn’t change my mind. I’m done. I’ve finally been pushed to the point I never thought I’d be pushed to. These twenty-eight days of “no contact” have given me the clarity I so desperately needed.
I’m still mad though. It’s gonna be awhile before that changes. I’m mad at myself for letting it go so far, but I’m mostly mad at you for making me think you wanted to be someone you aren’t. And I’m mostly mad at you because I don’t think I can handle being too mad at myself right now.
I hope I can get to a point where I wish you love. I may be mad at you, but I don’t hate you. I’ve learned some valuable life lessons because of you, you know. Some fucked up things took place, but you were still the first man to love me.
Yes, one day I’ll wish you love. You weren’t able to be the man I needed you to be, so I pray one day you’ll become the best man you want to be.
I think you’d want the same for me.
AJR
February 9th, 2010 at 9:35 AM
I’m only at 12 days
AZach23
February 9th, 2010 at 12:21 PM
I dont miss my ex, I miss who I thought he was.
imerika
February 9th, 2010 at 2:28 PM
YOU….GO….GIRL….
i don’t care how 1990s that is, i feel like a proud mom cheering from the sidelines : )
Ryan
February 9th, 2010 at 3:10 PM
Absolutely fantastic post. Worthwhile of a discussion or symposium.
Kerri
February 9th, 2010 at 3:10 PM
this note reminds me of a few things:
1) breakups suck, but the 60 days of contact is totally worth it and necessary
2) i’ve felt exactly how you feel right now and totally empathize
3) i need to catch up on your blog
4) you’re pretty awesome… See More
5) when is the HILLS coming back on??
IntrigueMe
February 9th, 2010 at 5:52 PM
Ahh… very familiar thoughts, very, very familiar.
P.S. I really love your blog design. I hope that eventually I can figure out how to edit them, etc. Right now it’s far, far beyond me!
MinD
February 9th, 2010 at 9:36 PM
AZach said it so well. Those of us who spent a LONG time in a relationship and then it ended, we end up missing who the person once was and who they could’ve been rather than the one we left behind. After all, would we have really left if they were who we wanted or expected? Doubtful.
I’m glad to see this no-contact thing is giving you some insight into everything. Clearly it’s beneficial for you in this healing process, and we all love to see healing.
Jamie
February 9th, 2010 at 9:37 PM
yess…you’re great. the days of no contact are hard, but they’re the best thing!!
Jessica
February 9th, 2010 at 10:55 PM
Aww dear. I know the no contact is tough but it will continue to get better and one day all those feelings of sadness and anger will be gone.
cooper
February 9th, 2010 at 11:35 PM
That Whitney Houston song comes to mind… I think we all fall in to a trap by which we assume the identity someone else wants for us, at least temporarily. The trick is not to let it go too far.
You will make it and you will forgive..but what counts now is you really not your future forgiveness…you go girl.
Elle
February 10th, 2010 at 6:58 AM
After my breakup with TheEx, I felt similarly like you do now. Funny enough, “I Wish You Love” was also my go-to song…well, one of many. But it helped me focus on the fact that while I was angry, I didn’t want it to consume me. I didn’t want the hate to turn my beating heart black, even when it hurt so much. I think it’s great that while you recognized your ex wasn’t the man you needed him to be, you can still hope for the best for him and yourself. It’s incredibly mature and the world needs more people like you.
Eran - The Quarterlife Quest
February 10th, 2010 at 3:22 PM
This is a beautifully brilliant post! So incredibly heartfelt and honest – and I think every one of this knows exactly how you feel. Well said
thatShortChick
February 10th, 2010 at 4:37 PM
good for you and that is such a wonderful wish for ANYONE. ex or not.
a girl
February 11th, 2010 at 2:37 AM
I stumbled upon your site. First, I love your site. Second, I find your post to be real. I hope that you can get to a place where you’ll be able to wish him love. Blessings.
jamie
February 11th, 2010 at 11:26 PM
I think I may be starting the no contact this too. A week down tomorrow. we’ll see how it goes.
LOALoveCoach
February 12th, 2010 at 12:19 PM
Absolutely LOVE your post. You write beautifully and it goes right to the heart! You have a sweet spirit and I especially like this part….”Yes, one day I’ll wish you love. You weren’t able to be the man I needed you to be, so I pray one day you’ll become the best man you want to be.”
Your heart will mend and you will find True Love, I just know it!
Cheers!
Catherine
floreta
February 13th, 2010 at 1:09 PM
this is beautiful. and i wish i had such mature thoughts when i was going through my major break up. though i do wish him love and happiness.. now.
Carolyn
February 15th, 2010 at 12:47 PM
Amazing post. One step at a time…
Summer Fades
February 26th, 2010 at 5:50 AM
…inspirational. gracias.