I’ve been put into the friend zone and I have no clue why.
For those of you who read this blog, you already know about a few dates I went on with a really nice guy. His name is Dave and he’s the complete opposite of anyone I’ve ever consider dating in the past. But after getting out of a really unhealthy relationship with my ex, I decided to give him a try.
We had some pretty nice dates, but since he’s so NICE, I was kinda surprised to learn that he truly was attracted to me. The peak of the attraction resulted in me spending the night at his apartment, partly because the roads were awful, but partly not. The second we started hooking up, he stopped being Nice Guy and started being funny…fun…cute. Because of this, I started to feel attached.
Attachment is the last thing I need right now and the last thing I wanted. But I couldn’t help it. Dave has a job…his own place…money…and a sense of humor. I was having fun with this guy and loved the idea of being with someone so stable and independent.
But after the fourth date, his pursuit of me ceased. I waited a whole week in agony to hear from him and when I didn’t, I caved and asked him to hang out with some friends and I. He came and it was fun. Granted, I got a little drunk, but we had a good time. We even made plans to work on my bike a few days later.
However, during neither of these interactions did he try to kiss me. This man allowed me to spend the night in his home, yet refuses to touch me now. This dumbass put me in the friend zone!
I don’t get it. Dave is a skinny, white guy from Minnesota. I am most certainly hotter than him. I mean that in the nicest way possible, but it’s true. And he’s kind of nerdy too. He does yoga and ceramics…he bikes and owns a Tracphone. I may have my moments, but generally, I’m a good time. So perhaps we wouldn’t have been a great fit for each other anyway, but I don’t understand how a man like him would pass up a woman like me.
Since I could never tell off Dave to his face (he’s way too nice and I’m way too classy), I decided to use my blog as a medium:
Motherfucker, you are INSANE! I am fucking hot. I’m funny, kind, passionate, and sexy. I walked into a grocery store the other day and three different men had to pick their chins up off the ground after seeing me. I have a car, a job, and goals. I use a Blackberry…not a fucking Tracphone. Your dumbass is missing out!
And yet despite all of this, my level of insecurity has shot thru the roof. All because you put me in the friend zone. YOU put ME in the friend zone. Motherfucker, what are you thinking? I hate that I’ve allowed you to mess with my brain like this. I shouldn’t be doubting how great I am and I shouldn’t be wasting time on men, like you, who don’t seem fully aware of how great I am.
And now I’m done. I mean, obviously I’m done with you, but I’m also done with your kind for awhile. I need to get my mind right before I jump into dating again. I will NEVER again wrap up my self-worth in a man’s pursuit of me. I’ve learned my lesson.
So fuck you, motherfucker. I hope you have fun telling your boys you hooked up with a sexy black woman — once. I just wish you knew I was thinking about my ex about 95% of the time.
Maggie
March 20th, 2010 at 10:14 PM
ugh what a douche!! you’re WAY better than that. If you need to go out for a big ass margarita and vent some more, it’s on me
TOPolk
March 20th, 2010 at 10:24 PM
You know, I’ve hooked up with girls a few times then put them in the friend zone. There’s been times when the inverse has happened to me. Sometimes there’s just nothing there.
cooper
March 21st, 2010 at 1:08 PM
Loved this one. Also you are way to hot for him, that much I can tell, so it’s probably for the best but …yeah – mother fucker.
Kim
March 21st, 2010 at 5:40 PM
I would have to agree with your post — you are way too good for him.
Liz Ortiz
March 22nd, 2010 at 2:10 PM
lol I love this post. “Motherfucker, you’re INSANE!!” ahahah excellent. You’re absolutely right though – skinny white boy from Minnesota has NOTHING on a sexy well rounded black woman like yourself. SO, in the words of Jay-Z, “on to the next one”. (I think thats a good title for an entry)
thatShortChick
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:02 PM
haha…you are too much!! also, I have never heard of a tracphone – what is it?
and you know what, maybe you are *too* much of a sexy, black woman for him. you’re probably the first independent, beautiful, funny, smart, (insert more awesome adjectives here) woman that he’s ever had an interest in and he’s probably scared.
Summer Fades
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:19 PM
Babe, did you ever consider that he put you in the friend zone because he realized that you were too good for him? Think about it. This guy is probably terrified at living up to your expectations!
He probably figured if he put you in the friend zone first, you couldn’t hurt him.
Right? Because if we’re so afraid of being hurt, other people are likely to feel that way, too.
pghjen
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:15 PM
Have you tried talking to him? I casually dated a guy for a while (many, many moons ago) that was pretty similar to that. We did kiss and make out a little, but he would never try to take things any further, even when I thought I was making it perfectly clear that it would have been ok.
Turns out, he really liked me and didn’t want to screw things up. We eventually “went all the way”, but I’m glad I asked him about it, because I was starting to have a complex.
Have you tried kissing him, or just casually joking about it? Maybe he’s just really shy?
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