The Wisdom of Ms. Bradshaw
29Jan2009 Filed under: Family and Friends, Health and Beauty Author: AkirahWyatt“Enjoy yourself,” she said. “That’s what your twenties are for. Your thirties are to learn the lessons. Your forties are to pay for the drinks.”
According to Carrie Bradshaw, my main goal right now should be enjoying myself. I guess that means different things to different people, but I’d be curious to know what enjoyment means to others. I’m not certain I’m doing everything I can to enjoy myself. I have my share of fun from time to time, I’m hardly having crazy, adventurous fun.
I think a part of me is so concerned for my future that I want to work hard now so I won’t have to work as hard later (I’m sure many of you have heard the fable of the ant and the grasshopper). I’m a homebody and I’m very focused on saving money. I don’t always allow myself the leisure of going to happy hour with friends or planning fun trips to exciting places. Perhaps there will always be lessons to be learned, but I’d much rather learn them now than prolong them for my thirties.
So the big question is: will I later regret being a twenty-something homebody? If there is ever a decade to enjoy myself, my twenties would be that decade. I have few responsibilities, lots of energy, and I am constantly receiving invites from friends asking me to join in on their wild escapades. Until now, however, I’ve lacked the motivation needed in order to do these things. Perhaps fantasies of buying my first home by the time I’m thirty are standing in my way.
Well, as I’ve stated in a previous post, 24 will be the year I start taking better care of myself. I think I need to heed Bradshaw’s advice and learn what it means to “enjoy my twenties.” With this in mind, I bought myself a ridiculously priced ticket to a Britney Spears concert and I’m in the midst of planning a mid-March vacation to the Bahamas. Sounds like I’m off to a good start, huh?
Even so, I’d love to hear from you guys about what you do to enjoy your twenties. Every time I turn on the radio, Rihanna and T.I. plead with me to “live [my] life.” I may not have the ability to live an extravagant life like either of them, but I’m still up to the challenge of figuring out how to have fun. So please, dear reader, give me some ideas of good ways I can enjoy these years. What can I be doing now in order to avoid having regrets later?
Andrea
January 29th, 2009 at 10:21 PM
I swing between being a homebody and a social butterfly, depending on my financial situation and my mood. I think when it comes to enjoying your twenties, you should do what you want to do, not what other people tell you should be doing. Personally, I’d rather go to an art show or check out a few bands than go to a club because that’s what I think of when it comes to enjoying my twenties.
Diana
January 30th, 2009 at 2:00 AM
I absolutely understand and relate to your post. I am such a homebody as well and sometimes I just enjoy lounging out at home and saving money. But I also believe life is all about balancing out everything. Having fun and splurging is good to an extent and as a 20 something I believe we should live it up but always have our priorities straight if you want to succeed in life
And for me, I consider small gatherings with friends with wine and a movie the best times and of course the occasional nights out to dance and party! You can’t ever beat that when your stressed !
Long live wine. It’s gotten me through many ordeals.
MinD
January 30th, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Wish I could help you out, but not sure I can.
Unfortunately, for me, my bills take over my life and dictate whether or not I get to “play.” If I have some extra dough, I’ll go out for drinks on the weekend or dinner with friends/boyfriend, but that’s it. I’m 23 and I doubt I’m having as much fun as I could be. My problem is I’m sadly too poor and work too much – I average 55 hours/week – to think about doing anything exciting.
So see, perhaps in this case, you will have to wait until you’re older to afford “fun.” Of course we should be creative and come up with fun ideas at affordable prices, but if traveling the world is not feasible for you right now, then who’s to say you’re doing something wrong? I think it’s important for twenty-somethings to enjoy ourselves, but we have to be careful to do so within our means.
Kendall
January 30th, 2009 at 12:35 PM
As I’m still a college student, work and classes kind of absorb my free time. Basically my playtime is constrained to the weekends or days like today where I have no other responsibilities.
But when I can, I am very much a social butterfly like karaoke tonight at the local bar.
As far as advice goes, do what feels good to you.
That’s all anyone can ever ask…to do what feels right to you.
KateKavanaugh
January 30th, 2009 at 10:06 PM
I just got your comment…
I took a well needed hiatus from my blog, but I just wanted to say: THANKS for stopping by.. I enjoyed your visit… even if it took me a month to notice it!
KK
Katie
January 30th, 2009 at 11:37 PM
I think being a 20something is a balancing act. Take advantage of being young and still somewhat free…going to the Bahamas is a good start
But start putting away money for that house, even if it’s only $50/month. Say ‘yes’ to random weekend trips and fun times with friends as much as you can, but don’t do it so much that you lose sight of your future goals.
Andrea
January 31st, 2009 at 1:20 AM
It was ironic to read your post because I was just complaining to my husband last night that I don’t think I took full advantage of my twenties! I recently turned 29 and suddenly I fear that when I turn 30 all of my chance for fun will be over with. I know that’s not logical, but I’m definitely feeling like I was too much of a homebody after I graduated college and got married at 23. However, I remember at the time I was content, I would have had to force myself to do the things I turned down. So, I say do what is right for you at the time–what feels right will be the best thing for you at the time, and when it’s not then you can do something different (like I’ve decided I’m going to do this year because I don’t see why my thirties can’t be enjoyable, too)!
tamicks
January 31st, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Like you, I don’t go out and have that much fun. I think that everyone is different, and that my definition of fun might not be your definition of fun. Some people enjoy partying, clubbing, etc. while others prefer intimate settings with close family and friends. I am part of the latter group. Whatever you do, just make sure you have fun. The concert and trip to the Bahamas sounds like a great start … adventurous, but not too intense.
L.L.
February 1st, 2009 at 1:04 PM
Why let your age define you? I say have fun when you figure out what fun is! For me, getting falling down drunk isn’t fun anymore, so I don’t do it. But if it’s fun again when I’m forty, pass me a bottle of gin!
Lol! Good point.
Cassandra Jowett
February 1st, 2009 at 10:13 PM
I’m 22 and I feel like this some days too. I’m in my last year of university, so I’m hoping that when (and if) I find a job come graduation in April, I can start worrying less about how I’m going to support myself and more about putting a bit of money away and having some fun.
Like some others have said, I think it’s all about balance and trying to realize both long-term and short-term goals.
As with most things, moderation is key.
ChinkyMel
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:15 AM
Hi hi! How are you? I just tagged you in my latest blog post called Me, Myself, and I. If you have time please drop by. Hope to hear from you soon. take care. =)
Suzanne
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:25 AM
I’m 29 now and can say that I did not spend my twenties just jollying along enjoying myself. (I did too much of that during my teens…) By the time I reached 20, I had so many goals and felt that life is just too short (I still feel that way). But I can say I’m very happy now that I did not just enjoy.
At 21 I got married. At 22 I opened my first business. At 24 I became a mum. At 27 I built my own house. Now at 29 I have just opened my second business. And I feel that I still can achieve so much more.
Who wants to wait for their thirties to start building on their lives? Being single at 35? Becoming a mum at 40? I don’t know. Everybody makes their own choices and we have to respect that.
For me, not “enjoying” my twenties was the best thing. I did enjoy it so much, though.
Enjoy every day of your life! Cherish the little things that make life worth it. Happiness can not be found at partying with friends or other superficial things. It is inside you and you can enjoy it whenever you want, whatever you do.
Well said. This seems more on target to how I feel about life. It seems that everyone has different ideas of enjoyment, but it’s nice to hear from others and gain new perspective. And sheesh…I hope to accomplish half of what you did in your twenties by the time I’m 35!
Ruthie
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:53 AM
Wow I completely understand your questions. I absolutely love Suzanne’s comment – so inspiring! I am working towards goals too, albeit in a different way. I hope I will still look back on this as a fun time, even if it isn’t filled with loads of boys, partying, shopping etc.etc. Great post! I always had similar thoughts when I heard that quote in SATC too!
TOPolk
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:12 AM
Only knowing you for a few posts, it’s hard to say what you “should” do to enjoy your time as a 20something. The important thing is that you find out what you like doing and indulge in it. Drink until your liver stops functioning. Dance until your feet fall off. If reading is your thing, read until your eyes stop working. Whatever it is, do it hard, do it fast, and do it often.
Sure, you’ll make a lot of dumb mistakes and foolish decisions along the way, but you’ll thank yourself when you’re older. Where else do you think your parents go their stories from?
Very true. It’s great to hear ideas from you guys, but in the end, I have to decide for myself how I want to spend my time.
Tristan | the almost right word
February 5th, 2009 at 11:51 AM
I completely identify with your thoughts — I spent a good two years of my mid-twenties being the go-out-late-party-girl type. Recently, I’ve returned to my “homebody” inclinations. They seem to be more natural to me, but every now and then, I kind of wonder if I’ll regret spending all this time at home, rather than at a club or a bar or something. Sometimes, I get this urge to go out and dance, but I never actually follow through. Will I look back and think that I should have done this all differently? I’m not sure. And that certainly scares me.