KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid

23Feb2009 Filed under: Family and Friends, Sex and Relationships Author: AkirahWyatt

Today, my mother told me that I’m clueless about men and that I’d benefit from reading Steve Harvey’s newest book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. FML.

It’s pretty embarrassing when your own mother tells you you’re oblivious about the intentions of men especially when she tells you in front of your boyfriend, but Mama usually knows what she’s talking about so I googled the book and ordered it on Amazon.

I haven’t read the whole book yet, but I did get to skim a few opening paragraphs. The gist, from what I gather, is that men are simple and not difficult to understand. Why Steve had to write a whopping 240 pages to make the point that men are simple I’m not certain. Either way, I’m familiar with the generalization that men are simple and have sometimes envied the simplicity of men. I am not a simple person…one of the many reasons why I have a blog.

I’ve gotten much better at embracing my womanhood and the complexities that come with it, but there are some days when the complexities simply piss me off. On these days, I take a step back and force myself to simplify things. Today I yearned for simplicity, so I decided to sum my life up by listing my favorite verbs:

Write. Sing. Laugh. Love. Talk. Listen. Play. Kiss. Cry. Sleep. Read. Move.

As I let each of these verbs sink into my brain, I start to slowly feel in control of my life again. My need to answer complex questions loosens its grip on me and I stop envying simple-minded men. It’s like I’ve discovered some sort of switch that allows me to go back and forth between simple and complex. Thank goodness I’m allowed to flip the switch as much as I need to.

Sigh. There’s nothing like calming yourself down by listing your verbs. Now my next goal is to find some time in this crazy life to actually do some of them…

20 Responses to “KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid”

Rebecca
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:41 PM

Haha, this is so funny. I totally agree with you – I’m often surprised at how simple things are to Ryan and how completely complicated those same things are to me. I love to blog for that reason too Great post!
sarah
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 PM

I don’t know, I think most of the men I know are just as complex as the women I know.
I like your verb-listing exercise!

Thanks! Ya, I’m looking forward to reading his arguments and examples. Personally, I am dating the simplest man on the face of this planet, so I doubt I’ll have any trouble understanding his points.
Nora
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 PM

Love the new blog look.
Great post… it is important to keep the simple things in mind and it’s even more important and hard to practice them on a regular basis!

Thanks! I’ve been really trying to do my verbs these past few days and it’s made a world of a difference.
Rachel
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:11 PM

Ha, maybe I’ll figure out what my verbs are, too. i have the same challenge, though-when do I actually DO them? As for guys who’ve been in my life, I would say I’ve met a fair amount of simple ones, but there have been those few complex ones who could process things with me all day long as well. Although, maybe if I slowed down and listened to them talk, I would find the basis of what they’re saying to be simple? Hmmmm…

Hahah! Nah, I bet they are complex. Just because they have a penis doesn’t mean they can’t be complex.
And we MUST make time for our verbs. We’ll go insane if we don’t…
MinD
February 24th, 2009 at 12:21 AM

Mr. Harvey clearly did it for the cash money. Why else would anyone write a book just about how simple men are? Ha.

And if it makes you feel better – maybe? – my mother thinks I like the “butterflies” phase and once the “aw, new relationship butterflies” go away, I seek something new and exciting. Ya, that was quite the blow… Thanks Mom.

Ouch. That’s rough. Sometimes I wonder what it is that our mothers see in us that make them think these things. I rarely talk to her about my relationship so how in the world does she know I’m naive about men? But as I said, mama’s usually right (at least in my case).
ChinkyGirlMel
February 24th, 2009 at 3:10 AM

Hey there. That sounds like an interesting book. Anyhow, yeah, if men really aren’t that complicated why write a 200 something book about how simple men are? But anyway, there are times when I wish I could just be a man because they don’t stress out so much about a lot of things.

Yes. I wouldn’t mind being a simple man or a more easygoing woman. I’m the kind of woman that Harry says is the worst in When Harry Met Sally…I’m high maintenance, but I like to think I’m low maintenance. I guess all I can do is own it, rather than trying to change it, right?
Suzanne
February 24th, 2009 at 4:37 AM

If it takes a mere 200 pages to describe men, then how many pages will a book on women be? Or is this why there are thousands of books on women…?

Ha!
Liz O.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:44 AM

BTW, discovered FML a few days ago and loooove it, so when I saw your first line – i cracked up and said YESSSS it’s taking over the world! lol Anyways, I love what you say in this post because it is SO true. I was recently telling a young gentleman I have been casually seeing that he lives such a simple life [yes I even used the same terms you used] and that he should never let anybody change him. And even though sometimes I get frustrated with him because I want him to be as responsive as I am and have as intense reactions as I do, but at the same time his calm simple manner keeps me “grounded and steady” I guess you could say… Ha well we’ll see how long that lasts lol

As long as neither of you are continually frustrated by the other’s simplicity/complexity, I think you guys may be able to complement each other well, in this regard. I freak out a lot and it’s nice to have a man who is able to calm me down. I just have to listen to him.
Andrea
February 24th, 2009 at 12:41 PM

Haha!!!! I like your new blog layout. Also, I appreciate the kind words on my post. I agree, rest is always best!
Stiletto Sports Jen
February 24th, 2009 at 3:51 PM

Love the new colors btw!

Thanks for this! I’m really sick and can’t to do much but I can def list my verbs and think about what they mean to me and how to simplify it all so I don’t get so overwhelmed by the complexities of it all!
Kinky
February 24th, 2009 at 4:56 PM

Great Read… May have to check out the book……
Imerika
February 24th, 2009 at 6:17 PM

Love this, Akirah! I’m going to “embrace my womanhood” too!
I also wish I could be simple sometimes too…but i guess it’s good the opposite sexes balance each other out…
thismayconcernyou
February 24th, 2009 at 7:44 PM

You’re right. Most men are simple creatures. I however, as you already know, am not so simple. And I value my complexity as I do my “manness” because they allow me to work through ridiculous situations rationally with ease …

This is why a woman with poise is the best you can ever find. Find it, and you’ll find the best you, homie. Dame.

Oooh. Well lucky you! I guess you have the best of both worlds, don’t you?
Nancy
February 24th, 2009 at 9:20 PM

Good girl for listening to your Mama ~ We mamas love to still feel needed – ha!
Petula
February 25th, 2009 at 1:09 PM

I have a male friend who is reading the book because a woman told him she was reading it. He didn’t seem too impressed, but said it may be a good book for less experienced women. Uh… I was going to say younger women, but neither seems appropriate. I hope you know what I mean.

I hope my daughters listen to me, like you listen to your mother, when they get older.
carolyn
February 25th, 2009 at 1:15 PM

I think it depends on what he means by “simple”. I think a lot of times decisions are more black and white for men. On the other hand I’m dating one who tends to look back and analyze what he has done before he can truely look forward. I dont know.. I believe that there’s pressure on men to be “simple” in ways they might not necessarily be, but I do think there’s some truth to the stereotype. Just like I think talking about women being so “complicated” is overused and often taken out of context, but partially.. true!

Well, I STILL haven’t gotten my book yet, so I can’t clarify anything. I better get it soon though!
Megan
February 26th, 2009 at 11:07 AM

I think it’s too opposite for me. My husband tends to be complex/overly complicated. Haha! I think I’m the simple one… Or maybe I’d like to think that way!
gagay
February 26th, 2009 at 8:11 PM

hahaha!LOL!

*speechless*
Stefanie Moser
March 1st, 2009 at 9:11 AM

you’re a simple girl in that you like your “biggest cinnamon roll you got” and none of that gluten-free, dairy-free, taste-free garbage.

Yes. Like that.
Tina
March 7th, 2009 at 11:49 AM

lol i can imagine your boyfriends face when she was saying it! i bet you curled up and died inside too – mothers!

I think he thought it was hilarious. And then proceeded to laugh at me.