A while back, I wrote a post about the Pennsylvania Governor’s Conference for Women, an event I had the pleasure of attending last October (for free!). While it was overwhelming to be surrounded by so many accomplished women, it was inspiring to hear their stories.
One of these women, Jen Groover, has become a role model to me in these past few months. Creator of the Butler Bag, Jen is known for her innovative and entrepreneurial spirit. I heart that woman (so much that I Facebooked her).
I am a fan of Ms. Groover not only because of her many accomplishments, but also because of an excellent quote she shared during one of the seminars:
“Only when we fear regret more than failure is our greatness allowed to truly emerge.”
As I stand in the midst of unemployment and attempt to list the options before me, I find myself faced with dreams I would regret not pursuing. I must admit, however, I’m a tad bit terrified of the vulnerability involved with these pursuits and the risk of failure. Take my love for writing, for example. I could either use this time off to pour myself into writing or I could let the fear of “putting myself out there” get the best of me and watch soap operas all day long.
While Days of Our Lives sounds tempting, I know I’d much rather pursue my passion. I am a twenty-four year old who’s just been laid off from a job that, despite the paycheck, added more misery to each day than joy (ask Boyfriend if you don’t believe me). I awkwardly entertain the thought of risk-taking, knowing that I don’t have much left to lose. My ego has been shot, but I can think of no better remedy than to write the pain away. I cannot deny my desire to serve others and write about it and to someday convince someone to pay me to serve other and write about it. If I don’t try to make this dream a reality…if I don’t try right now…I won’t be able to sleep at night.
And this is a BIG problem. Because I like my sleep.
What about you? What dreams have you been salivating over, as fears of failure loom over you? What’s scarier for you: regret or failure?
Nina
April 7th, 2009 at 8:40 AM
i think most of us feel this way.
do it before reality washes your dreams away or makes it harder. because…..facing rent and bills that are always past due..i find it harder to pursue what i really want to do.
sieze it. grab it. try to attain it and kick anyone in the balls who tries to stop you.
I’ve never kicked anyone in the balls before. This could get quite interesting.
lucklys
April 7th, 2009 at 10:37 AM
i’m afraid of a lot of things that i don’t want to be afraid of. i am still working on overcoming them and forging down the path i want to go. i wish i didn’t have to be afraid, but i think some of that fear fuels me, nudges me on the shoulder, tells me to just try it. i would love to pursue photography, but who wouldn’t? half the world can take a decent picture, it’s getting them out there, pulling strings, knowing people that gets you where you want to go. i just hope that someday the world opens it’s eyes to the real talent, not just the people looking to make a quick buck.
Ya, I agree. Fear is uncomfortable, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. And the feeling you have once you conquer fear is pretty remarkable. That can be all the motivation a person needs sometimes.
imerika
April 7th, 2009 at 12:02 PM
oh man, I wish I would have considered that question before. I am definitely afraid of failure. But I am terrified of regret. I would rather be able to look back and say “Yeah I tried but I failed” rather than to look back and say “I don’t know, I never tried.”
Me too. How boring would life be if we refuse to take risks?
Amy Segreti
April 7th, 2009 at 5:10 PM
To answer the question you pose: failure — but for me, that fear is motivating. I’m more afraid of it — and can of course burst into tears if someone in any way implies I am failing or wasting my time — but it pushes me to try harder. To use that sadness to generate something awesome.
I relate to this post because I just wrote something in my blog in a similar vein: http://tinyurl.com/d25cw9. Check it out if you like.
Love your blog, by the way.
Amy
Good! I’ll be checking yours out too.
MinD
April 7th, 2009 at 5:43 PM
I have a lot of faith that you won’t give up on what you want most – even if you have to snag some crappy job just to get by on bills. And although I’m sure the soap operas are tempting – I’m a General Hospital fan myself – there’s no better time than now for you to chase those dreams.
While it’s hard to choose between regret and failure – I’d prefer neither, naturally – I’m more afraid of regret. I would hate to look back and think “what if” all the time. It seems better to at least make an effort and maybe fail, maybe succeed, then spending a lifetime regretting that I didn’t even try.
I concur.
Katie
April 7th, 2009 at 7:57 PM
That quote is SO what I needed to hear right now. Good post!
Thanks!
Singlutionary
April 8th, 2009 at 12:02 AM
You are SO in the right place! I now know that when I get the breathless feeling, like I’m about to take a plunge of some sort or another, that I am about to set something really good in motion.
Some people don’t even think these thoughts or ever have that feeling.
I know. Can you imagine what their lives are like?
Rebecca
April 8th, 2009 at 11:37 AM
Love this. I like to take risks because you learn so much from doing than not. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I know I wouldn’t be the same person today if I didn’t.
It’s true…you learn a lot when you take risks. And when you fail. I need to not be so scared of making mistakes, especially since we all make mistakes.
E.P.
April 8th, 2009 at 12:49 PM
Good question. I’m loving this post. Really. I’m afraid of so many things, but I guess the thing I’m afraid of the most of regretting that I could have done something different to make things better or more interesting. It gets me thinking about what REALLY makes me happy (and what, while I want to like it, doesn’t add any joy into my day.)
I really needed this post today — I’ve been a little down and out recently — so thank you so much.
Well good. I’m glad. I needed a pick-me-up too…that’s why I wrote it.
Julie_Gong
April 8th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
i think everyone our age is at this point really… the safe route is so comfortable that we forget all those wonderful risks we took to get where we are now. i think all of us need to find that inner child wide-eyed curiosity… i know if i did i’d be much much happier…
my new outlook: fail often, to succeed sooner…
best of luck.
I agree. When did I stop dreaming big? When did I start putting myself inside a box? I want to believe that anything is possible…and if it’s not, then I need to try a different approach. People used to tell me, “It never hurts to try.” So when did I stop believing them?
mina
April 9th, 2009 at 9:58 PM
Hi Akirah, thanks for dropping a comment, I like your blog…gonna fave it in EC:) Cheers!
Thanks!
Rachel
April 13th, 2009 at 8:56 AM
Yes, it seems like you’re at a crossroads right now. After what everyone else is saying, this may sound a bit trite, but seriously. Follow your heart. Figure out what’s most important to you, and then go for it = )
If you need to make a list…lol
Gotta love those lists!
Funemployment - Quarter-life Lady
May 30th, 2009 at 1:49 PM
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