For our first “That’s What He/She Said” post, TOPolk and I will be answering the question: “Is it okay for a woman to ask a man out on a date?” Ladies first…

Quarter-life Lady says:

I think it’s completely acceptable for a woman to ask a man out on a date.  It is 2009, after all.  It’s a nice feeling to ask a guy out and for him to accept.  And if he pays, well, that’s just an added bonus.

I asked a guy out once. It worked out well in my favor.  I was 85% sure he was going to say yes and he did.  He picked me up, showed me around town, and paid for our drinks.  He took me home, walked me to my door, and gave me a hug.  Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.

I cannot deny, however, that I enjoy being the object of pursuit even more.   Call me traditional, but I like having a man inquire about my relationship status, try to get to know me, and woo me with flowers.

With this in mind, I will never ask a guy out unless I feel confident he will say yes.  I will never risk having my feelings hurt because I feel impatient.  I will never doubt whether or not I am worthy of a man’s pursuit because I am.  These are all personal preferences, of course, but that’s how I feel.

TOPolk says:

Since Akirah gave me such a lovely introduction in her last post (gracias), I’m going to go ahead and jump head first into the topic at hand. From a guy’s point of view, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out.

Sure, there’s the old school line of thought that says “guys should always do the asking,” but really ladies, it’s 2009. If there’s a guy you’ve got your eye on, go ahead and ask him out. We won’t mind, promise. More times than not, this may be the best course of action as we males have a tendency to be completely clueless to even the most obvious flirting. Then there are those times where we’re not oblivious to your advances, just tragically shy. In either scenario, if waiting on us to make the first move is going to cause you more stress than necessary, save yourself the trouble and just ask us out instead. It’s cool.

“But Terence, what about those times when I know the guy isn’t interested in me?” Good question and I think I’ve got a good answer. Situations like this are twofold. On one hand, there are the times when you know the guy isn’t interested in you. In this situation, ask the guy out at your own risk. Some of ya’ll may pass on this move, some of ya’ll may be of the mindset of “I won’t know until I try.” To this, all I can say is do what’s best for you. On the other hand, there are those times when you think the guy isn’t interested in you. Here, what appears to be “no interest” may just be “unknown interest.” In this scenario, I say ask away. I mean, the worst thing we can say is “I’m flattered, but no thanks.” (Actually, I take that back.  We could say a lot worse, but for the sake of this post, roll with me.)

So go ahead ladies, get to work on your pickup lines. The odds are in your favor of most of us never hearing them before.

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