My Dear Mama…Lost in Translation
16May2009 Filed under: Family and Friends, Humor Author: AkirahWyattOn our way to South Carolina, my mother found a radio station playing Jaheim’s “Put that Woman First” (a great song if you’ve never heard it).
Me: Oh keep it here. I like this song.
Mom: Me too.
Me: Jaheim is Jamil’s favorite singer. (Jamil is my brother)
Mom (shocked): Really? I never knew that!
Me: Well why in the world would you know something like that?
Mom: Well, I know who your favorite singer is!
Me: Who?
Mom: John Mayer.
Me: Ha! That was, like, six years ago Mom. Get with it!
Mom: Well, you like Britney Spears!
Me: I do like my Britney. But I’d say that Mandy Moore is my favorite singer. Or Rachael Yamagata. She’s great.
Mom: Oh Rachael Yamagata. I know her. I saw her on TV last week.
Me (shocked): Really?
Mom: Yes. She was wearing a silver wig.
Me (pausing a moment to think…why in the world would Rachael Yamagata be on TV with a silver wig on?): Lord have mercy! Mom, you mean Lady Gaga!
Mom: Oh. Ya, that’s who I meant!
I had to take a moment to forgive her for comparing Rachael Yamagata to Lady Gaga (seriously, that’s so offensive), but I’ll admit it’s pretty funny. It reminds me of an SNL sketch that was on last Saturday:
I love my Mama. She’s great. And her birthday is coming up August. Maybe my brother and I can go halfsies on a Mom Translator. It looks like she could use one.
What crazy/hilarious things do your parents say?
TOPolk
May 16th, 2009 at 10:12 PM
The things my dad says aren’t safe for print. For both his reputation and mine.
You’re a good son…a much better child than I am. Clearly, I have no problem broadcasting my mom’s crazy quotes.
stef
May 17th, 2009 at 8:37 PM
LOL i loved that skit.
I know you did.
mrs. mary mack
May 18th, 2009 at 8:44 AM
LOL I love moms! I think I tweeted this quote a few weeks ago:
My Mom on risky sex: “The reason that all these diseases are spreading so fast is because these young girls now like to do Anglo sex.” (she meant anal sex)
Oh my word! Did you correct her??? That’s a pretty big mistake. She might offend some Anglos, if she’s not careful.
MinD
May 18th, 2009 at 1:35 PM
My brother wandered over to my MySpace and showed my mom a bunch of the pictures, which she commented on via his MySpace. Ha.
But my favorite thing was I told my mom I looked kind of “emo” one day, and her response was, “Emu? You look like an emu?” It was a riot.
Instead of that show, “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” they should come out with “Parents Say the Darndest Things.”
E.P.
May 19th, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Haha! I love it! My mom does the same thing, though we haven’t talked music in a while.
You should initiate a conversation. Who knows what craziness will come out of her mouth?
Bethany
May 19th, 2009 at 10:04 PM
Ok, here’s my favorite recent mom-story. Sorry it’s kinda long:
My mom and dad and I were sitting around and talking about how sad Natasha Richardson’s death was, and I mentioned that her husband was Liam Neeson. (Now, in her defense, my mom was on the other side of the room.) But she says “Who’s that?” “Oh, you know, Mom- you’ve seen him in a bunch of stuff” and I start naming off lots of movies he’s been in. “No- I don’t think I know who that is . . .” she replies. So, I gave. And I started looking at news stories on googlenews. And there’s a story about Natasha Richardson and there’s a picture with it and my mom goes, “Oh! Is that her husband?” “Yeah.” And my mom says, “Is that her husband with her? You know- that almost looks like Liam Neeson . . .” LOL “IT IS LIAM NEESON!” lolollol I got a really good laugh outta that one- and also in her defense, my mom has lost a lot of hearing in one ear. But still- my dad and i about died laughing.
Ha! Oh mom. My mom does that too. One time, she thought that Boyfriend said Ghetto Mountain, instead of Gander Mountain. I’m sure you can just imagine the laughter in that conversation.
Singlutionary
May 23rd, 2009 at 10:38 PM
My mom calls porno “prono”. Need I say more?
My mom can’t say “lisp,” so she says “lips.” Ha!
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