“In about a month or two, your life will be completely different.”
A good friend of mine reminded me of this earlier today. She’s right too. In about a month, I’ll be moving out of my beautiful apartment and into a new place, location TBD. I will more than likely have a new job, but maybe not. Maybe I’ll still be sitting on my butt all day, watching TLC and replying to @spencerpratt’s tweets.
Either way, I’m surprisingly content. I have my moments where I explode in frustration, but generally, I’m alright. Of course, I didn’t choose any of this. Scrambling to find a new place to live was not a choice of mine and I certainly never asked to be laid off. Yet, I can’t shake this feeling of relief I have. Thankfulness, even. It’s like that weird song I keep hearing on the radio: “sometimes goodbye means a second chance…”
I am eager to begin my second chance. And why wouldn’t I be? I’m a little wiser now and I don’t sweat the small stuff as much. I’m learning that life changes at the drop of a hat and because of this, I’m not scared to make mistakes. Of course, I don’t strive to make them, but I don’t avoid them like the plague anymore. Mistakes are the foundations to the most important lessons we learn in life.
My life has become one big ball of confusion and for that I am, ironically, thankful. You learn a lot about yourself when you haven’t the slightest idea what’s going on…a lot more than when you think you’ve got it all together. When your security blanket is taken away, you become vulnerable and naked. You find out who your real friends are and you start to grow chest hair. I should know; my chest has sprouted five just today (and no, I will not be posting any pictures, despite the previous reference to nakedness).
I am adapting to changes, whether I chose them or not, because that’s what grownups do. And let’s be honest, I may be aware of the upcoming changes my life will soon see, but any of us could just as quickly face a similar fate. Just one layoff, one trip to the doctor, one phone call…just one…could completely change your life forever. I guess you can clench tightly to your security blanket while you formulate some sort of blueprint for your life, but you’ll probably be wasting your time. Eventually the blueprint will need to be redrawn or someone will steal your blanket.
Trust me. I try to formulate life plans in my mind every single day. Not one of these plans has ever come to pass. Not even close.
If nothing else, this season of life has taught me to not only accept change, but to expect it. What about you? How have you grown accustomed to the inevitable changes that take place in life, everyday?
Singlutionary
May 27th, 2009 at 10:44 PM
“one big ball of confusion”
yep. and just as soon as you unravel that ball, another one comes rolling in.
I totally get this! Thanks for posting!
Sure! Thanks for reading…and commenting!
tb
May 28th, 2009 at 5:42 AM
thank you for sharing this…. i really needed to hear it at this time. i’ve recently taken a new job, in a new city and i don’t know anyone and after all the excitement wore off i’m finally feeling a bit lonely and depressed. but you are right….in a month or two it will all change and im grateful!
It’s an interesting way to view life, but it’s true. It helps me when I remind myself that things will change…soon.
Kim
May 28th, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Personally, I think I’m scared that my life won’t be totally different in a month or two. That’s what freaks me out. I hope it will be. But that’s my fear. That I’ll be stuck in the same depressing mud that I’ve been spinning my tires in for months.
Oh goodness. You have just identified my biggest fear as well. All we can do is hope that changes will take place. And not sit back and miss out on the opportunities that will result in exciting changes.
Maggie
May 28th, 2009 at 11:30 AM
When things aren’t going the way you want I find it comforting to think that change is just around the corner. On the other hand, I think the opposite when things are going well. I’ve grown used to the constant ebb and flow of changes and uncertainty.
Adaptation is certainly a good thing.
and to commenter TB: I’ve been through the same thing myself and you will make new friends and enjoy your new experiences. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
There’s that balance between expecting and accepting change, whether things are going well or bad. I guess a part of it is finding contentment, no matter what’s going on. I hope to God I can get myself to that point sometime in my life.
Susan Pogorzelski
May 28th, 2009 at 11:38 AM
A great post, Akirah! That song is actually a favorite at the moment (and I actually used it as a reference for a blog post awhile back) because of that line: “sometimes goodbye is a second chance.” It’s always been hard for me to let go and move on because I thought that saying goodbye would be permanent. I’ve left a job, moved out of an apartment, said goodbye to friends, closed a chapter on a relationship…Goodbyes — in whatever form they come — are hard, but you’re absolutely right — it’s a second chance, a chance to change, a chance for something better.
A chance for something else.
It’s inevitable. And as much as I want to cling to my own security blanket, the best things do happen when you adapt and open up to that opportunity. It’s confusing and it’s frightening, but good things will come for you, I’m sure of it.
Wishing you the very best!
Thank you. And I agree. I am excited for my chance at something better. It’s funny, but for the longest time, I was so set in my idea of what I thought adulthood should look like…what I wanted for my life. But now that I’ve lived it, I’m amazed by how much my view has changed.
imerika
May 28th, 2009 at 11:39 AM
Most of the recent changes in my life have been good, with the exception of a couple. But even those exceptions, I sort of look as a challenge that I will overcome and once I conquer it, I will be proud of myself and feel stronger.
I am so excited for you and your upcoming changes! this is what the 20s are all about right?
Amen. Gotta love the quarter-life. Uncertain, yet exciting. There’s nothing like it.
MinD
May 28th, 2009 at 4:06 PM
It’s great that you’ve turned a negative – losing your job – into a positive. I’m not sure most people could do that.
And you’re also so very right. Life changes, rapidly, without notice, and we’re all forced to think on our toes. And for people like me, who feel the constant need to plan, that’s tough to plan for…
Indeed, it is.
Kim
May 28th, 2009 at 9:58 PM
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Life isn’t about plans, its about what happens now — and your attitude towards it. Your post was very poignant and thank you for sharing this.
Thanks. Yes, I’m trying my very hardest to focus on what’s happening now. It’s hard at times, but I am training myself to do so.
TOPolk
May 29th, 2009 at 7:53 AM
By George, I think you’ve got it
Life definitely isn’t about things going to plan. It’s great to have a blueprint, but like you said, those blueprints get quickly scribbled over. Funny thing is, that’s what makes life interesting. Or at least less mundane.
One thing I have found out as I’ve made my way through life is that while it’s great to toss out a blueprint and start over, it’s not good to do the same with your goals. Like, your real goals, not the ones you make up on a whim
. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
That’s true…it’s important to keep sight of your goals. Things in life may cause the route to change from time to time, but the goal…the destination…doesn’t have to change. Good point.
Slimgoody
May 29th, 2009 at 4:55 PM
Great post….Change is something that we all have to learn to accept. Good job and good luck with your job hunting.
Thanks!
Natural
May 29th, 2009 at 9:28 PM
this is so true
Just one layoff, one trip to the doctor, one phone call…just one…could completely change your life forever.
i just found out a friend of mine, my age 37 had a stroke. that’s much too young. anything can happen in a second!
That’s why we’ve got to LIVE. Now! I’m sorry to hear about your friend.
Special K
May 30th, 2009 at 10:16 AM
As women, I think we are more sensitive to change…we are always looking for ways to grow, improve and surpass ourselves…I am sometimes too future oriented that I forget how to enjoy where I am now…so, be patient with NOW…
I can see where you’re coming from on this. Many women are control-freaks who are very future-focused. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but I have certainly seen this amongst my groups of friends.
thatShortChick
May 30th, 2009 at 10:24 AM
you have such a knack for putting everything in its proper perspective and finding the silver lining. I wish I had that ability to bypass all of the negative thoughts.
and for all things holy, DO NOT give spencer pratt the time of day! LOL
I appreciate you saying this. To be honest, finding the silver lining is not a natural gift of mine. I think that when going through challenges, a person has to choose whether she is going to mope around and feel sorry for herself or whether she is going to grow. I love growth; I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about life. Only by the grace of God have I been able to find any silver lining…and I must credit my loved ones for offering support too. When I got laid off, I would have never guessed that my life would snowball into what it is now, but if I have a chance to learn how to trust the God I love more deeply, I’ll take it.
I cannot thank my former employer enough for igniting the trust and growth I am experiencing now.
And as for Spencer Pratt, a girl’s gotta have some humor in life, right?
Special K
May 30th, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Contentment can last for only a day, or hours, sometimes! So wonderful…to understand not being on the “cusp” of something, but to be HERE, now, and being okay…more than okay, being YOU.
It’s an every day battle, but it must be fought. I find contentment by speaking truth to myself and surrounding myself by people who speak truth to me as well.
VintageVelveteen (Nana)
May 31st, 2009 at 1:19 AM
Changes are part of life, right on that one. I guess, my recent ‘adaptation’ has been life without my ex & his bubbly, amazing daughter. Painful as hell, but a change nonethless.
As they say, “sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same.” Though it’s hard, I hope you find comfort and confidence as you heal.
tamicks
May 31st, 2009 at 3:39 PM
You are so right. Just one minor incident can change your life in ways that you have never imagined. I am sorry about your job loss, but I am happy to see that you are not dwelling on the negative, but rather focusing on the positive. With your attitude, I don’t think that you will be stuck in this rut for long! Best of luck with everything ♥
Thanks!
ChinkyGirLMeL
May 31st, 2009 at 9:21 PM
Good luck with the upcoming changes in your life…Reminds me of Miley’s song It’s the Climb. =) Anyway… Mistakes and challenges makes us the people we are today. Sure, I’ve had my share of tears but it was those moments that contribute to my strengths and helped me to realize my weak points to hopefully some day overcome them. =) Cheers to second chances!
I love “The Climb!” Although Miley gets on my nerves, that song really strikes a chord with me. I think it describes a very healthy view on life.
Leahchristine
June 9th, 2009 at 10:10 AM
I had no idea we were going through the same exact thing! I got laid off in April. It was really hard for the first month or so, and I felt totally worthless after having 2 interviews for awesome jobs lead to nowhere. Freelancing has helped because I still have money coming in and I don’t have a boss to answer to, besides my clients, but I still find myself getting sucked into the Lifetime Channel every now and then wondering where my day went! It also definitely helps to have a support system. People to take you out to lunch or have cheap drinks with you on a Monday night even when they have to get up to work in the morning and you don’t.
I think unless you had your dream job, which most of us don’t, that you should look at this as an opportunity and not a setback. From one economic casualty to another, “Good Luck Gal!”
That’s so true. That job was FAR from my dream job. And this has definitely been a learning experience. This is not the kind of opportunity I thought I’d be faced with, but when life hands you lemons, right?
Cee
June 10th, 2009 at 4:44 PM
Totally agreed. Several months ago I was a control freak. I had my whole professional life planned out, and when I got word that I was laid off, all of that fell to pieces.
It’s been a couple of months now, and I’m totally cool with it.
For someone who had everything planned out, I kind of like not having a plan at the moment
Me too. I needed to have my plan taken away from me before I could realize it was the completely wrong plan for me. Thank God I got laid off. It’s been the swift kick in the behind I needed.
Good luck to you!!
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