22Jul2009
Filed under: Family and Friends, Sex and Relationships
Author: AkirahWyatt
Happy 20sb Blog Swap Day! John wrote for my blog and I wrote for his. You can check out my post here.
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This is John (blogging as johnonline) of Life Inc.. Akirah is taking some time off in this blog while she’s working on my blog. We’re having this blog swap thing at 20sb and I’m taking over here just for a day.
I don’t want to steer away from the usual read the fair lady is writing here but I thought of contributing something light. Besides, the only guidelines she gave me were to write something for young women and to make sure there are no “f” words. It was actually a challenge for me to write something that would interest women ‘coz I’m used to writing stuff about myself, my stuff, my world, and everything about me. So I have to write something that is in my interest and something you, her readers, will read. I’m single as of the moment so I cannot give advice about relationships now.
Then I thought of something relevant about guy-girl relationships but without the cheesy parts. You see, guys and girls can be the best of friends for a lot of reasons. I should know ‘coz my “bff” is a girl and her name is Clarysse. Many best friends start out as lovers who decided to just be friends (though mine and Clarysse’s relationship was purely platonic from the start). But why did we click? And why did she choose me over some of her girl friends?
This is where I’ll start boasting about why men make great best friends (I don’t mean to solicit debates here):
- No PMS. We all know how unpredictable girls can be. Your mood swings can be terrible. Good thing we don’t have those. You, our girl best friend, can go to us directly and seek our advice anytime without being turned down because of an inability to think logically due to our monthly cycle.
- Ready and game. Aside from being ready, we are willing to get dirty if needed. Adventure is part of our game. We can give you a break from girly stuff.
- Not demanding. If you’re dealing with that “monster” (PMS) and we are in dire need of a friend, we won’t push ourselves too much and demand quick help. We may never understand yout “cycle” completely, but we’re cool about it and willing to wait for that chance to pour our hearts out to you.
- Jealousy is not an issue. My best friend, Clarysse, is going out with somebody but it has never become an issue to us that she’s spending lesser time with me. I’ll never create a commotion over petty things.
- Lesser things to fight over with. Having someone of the opposite sex as your best friend will give you peace of mind that we are not crushing/flirting on/with your boyfriend. Wearing the same dress in the same party at the same will never happen either.
- Good shopping buddy. I can attest to this. Whenever Clarysse and I go strolling in the mall, I offer myself as her instant P.A. (personal assistant) with no hesitations. Carrying her bags and doing errands are easy. And when it comes to choosing what to buy, who’s better to give ideas on what to wear than a guy? I believe she’s dressing up to catch a guy’s attention.
- Hook up buddy. It has been heard many times before how disastrous it can be to ask another girl to be your “bridge” for some guy that you like. It’s usually the “bridge” and the “subject” that ends up together. But with us, it is very unlikely that we’ll steal him away from you.
- Guy’s insights. Aside from being the best “bridge” for hook ups, we can give you insights on what’s going on in our minds and what those gestures/mannerisms mean. We can give you red flags. In case of dealing with problems, we can shed light to you on how our ego works.
- We don’t overreact. Girls have tendencies to blow things out of proportion. They can be really keen to details overlooking the whole scenario or the big picture. If you’re going to refer some problem to us, believe me, we’ll handle it seriously but in a moderate and logical way.
- We don’t speak much. Let me rephrase that, we only speak when needed. We can be someone to hear your vents, rants, and angst minus the nags, the unsolicited advices, and the unexpected diverting of drama to ourselves. It’s very unlikely to happen.
Just to keep the balance in this post, I’ve written short but sweet reasons why us guys needs a girl as a best friend (or why is it an advantage to have one):
- Girl’s insights. No one is very capable of cracking a girl’s mind than to have another girl do it.
- Guys need some drama too. I never thought I’d cry over a girl but Clarysse had me do it. It was a relief, however.
- Hook up buddy. The same as above. They have a bunch of girl friends to refer to.
- Girls are more mature. They give us answers to the question you were just about to ask without leaving the first one unattended.
- Instant. Having a girl best friend is like a having an instant mom, sister, or even girlfriend for cover ups. They can also become our instant stylist and lawyer.
The problem, however, occurs when spending too much time with each other or getting used to with each other’s company creats too much comfort and causes one party to fall for the other- the probability of which is high. For that reason, it’s still advisable to have a handful of friends with the same gender.
Related Posts, for Your Reading Enjoyment:
Carolyn
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:35 PM
While I think you touched on a fun subject you may have (maybe) just opened yourself up to some debate
First of all, guys mood swings can be harder to handle than girls’. They are sometimes unable to process WHY they feel certain ways and that is damn frustrating as a friend! At least with girls we go crazy, but we can usually explain why.
Actually.. I think that’s the only point I really disagree with. I had a best guy friend in high school (and not really since) and I loved it.
The only other thing to be wary of is one of you falling for the other, but you can usually tell (with some careful observation) if there are just friendly feelings on both sides…
Leahchristine
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:51 PM
I also think it’s important to note that the person you’re dating, guy or girl, almost always ends up being a best friend to you, so sometimes you can’t help sleeping with your best friend!
Nana
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:11 PM
I love hanging out with my guy friends. I think that they are the people I truly let loose with, they see my weaknesses and they tell me things how they are. The only drawback, is that at some point, things can get sexual and that can kill your friendship.
Nana
July 22nd, 2009 at 6:26 PM
This is a beautiful post! You will find ‘that’ special someone!
Johnonline
July 22nd, 2009 at 9:24 PM
On a serious note, i really almost fell for my best friend Clarysse when we were in high school.
to Leahcristine and Nana, there were some temptations to get “physical” but we have not yet cross that line.
P.S.
Good to know, Akirah posted this one rather than the other entry i wrote… it’s somewhat serious and boring.
visit her entry on my blog too >>> http://johnonline.wordpress.com/2009/07/22/the-bad-boy-one-explanation-of-the-female-mind-blog-swap/
Amanda
July 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 PM
Very nice.. and insightful John. Guys can be so awesome in so many ways. I know issues happen in all senses, but in most cases… guys are great!
Natural
July 24th, 2009 at 5:19 PM
this is a great idea – a blog swap. and you make a valid point about a man being a girl’s best friend. excellent points. even if you can’t relate to anything, you’re just like a big ear, for listening.
Johnonline
July 25th, 2009 at 8:29 AM
@ Natural… thanks for visiting both post!
join 20sb (if you’re not yet a member) and the blog swap too!
i’m checking your site right now!